i refuse to invalidate his feelings

He’s little. He’s pretty sure you hung the moon. You’ve always been frequently present.

And then, suddenly, you aren’t there anymore.

You don’t call him. You don’t text him. (You can do both, you know. His iPad has iMessage and FaceTime and you have an iPhone. You don’t even have to go through his parents to do so.) You visit once or twice a month, for 10 or 15 minutes, when it’s convenient for you.

For a young child, it is the equivalent of a parental divorce with a bad custody arrangement. It doesn’t matter who you are to him. You could be mom’s or dad’s significant other. You could be the nanny. You could be big brother, big sister, cousin, Aunt, or Uncle. You could be Grandma or Grandpa. Your blood connection is irrelevant to a child. Their heart connection to you is what matters to them; and unfortunately for children, they love without reservation.

But when he asks why you aren’t there, do NOT expect dishonesty. I will not lie because it makes you feel better about yourself. You have yet to be open and honest with us about why you CHOSE not to be there. We only have the answer you gave us. And that is the answer we will give him. We will not allow you to blame him, for he is only a child and his mind changes with the wind.

And when he cries and tells me that he feels angry and hurt and like you don’t come and don’t call because you don’t love him, I will NOT defend you and I will NOT invalidate his feelings. They are his feelings, and if I invalidate them now, he will not learn to trust his own feelings as he grows and matures. It’s no different than when he gets angry and acts out. He’s allowed to BE angry, he isn’t allowed to get away with acting out. So, when he’s crying because he feels angry and hurt and unloved by your actions, or rather by your inaction, I will hold him. I will snuggle him. I will love on him and tell him that *I* love him. I will tell him that Jesus loves him. And I will tell him that I’m sorry that you don’t make time to see him or talk to him; and I will ask him to forgive you because if he doesn’t, it will only hurt him worse to hold onto that anger and hurt.

It's Been A While...

...since there was an update on the boy.

Levi just celebrated his FIFTH birthday!

He is full of personality. He is loving. He is smart...so very smart! He is funny. He is a trouble-maker. He is a heart breaker. He has these looks that just melt your heart. He has these sayings that just make you giggle...even when you should be scolding him. He is rude. He is a boy. He is OCD. He is determined.

He is perfect, well...he's is the perfect Levi Johnson Hall, anyway. :)

He is HEALTHY. Other than a flu shot in November, his 5-year well-check on February 11, 2014 was his FIRST visit at the pediatrician's office since his 4-year well-check on February 12, 2013. Previously, our record was 3 months between sick visits. It's been a YEAR. A whole YEAR. I'm excited...can you tell? We are still followed by Immunology and Pulmonology at Duke, and of course, he's had a cold here and there or an asthma flare-up, but we've been able to manage everything with NO ANTIBIOTICS and only 3 courses of STEROIDS. We have been very blessed.

He is such an old man.

He sits just like his Great Granddaddy ["Granddaddy" to him], with his little legs crossed at the knee, which makes my heart sing because Granddaddy loves him so and I think it's so special that he ended up with a trait from one of his great grandparents.

His eyes are beautiful. And weird. And they change colors. Blue. Gray. Green. Golden. Sometimes so deep they appear purple. And every now & then you catch a glimpse of just plain old brown. It fascinates me. And the color is telling...of his moods...if they're blue, get ready for a great big hug...if they're green be prepared for an apocalyptic zombie-like attack...if they're gray, prepare yourself to be licked up the side of your face or have him climb up in your lap just to pass gas on you and take off running or just generally be mischievous.

He doesn't understand personal space. It's perfectly acceptable to him to put his nose to your nose just to tell you hello. Or climb up in your lap, even if you're a perfect stranger.

He sneaks...like a ninja...out of his bed and into his daddy's & mine on a regular basis. We've timed it. It has taken up to 30 minutes for him to get out of bed, walk down the hall, climb onto the foot of our bed and inch his way up to the pillows between us. It's hard to pretend you're asleep so he doesn't know you've busted him when all you really want to do is belly laugh out loud. [I told you in the beginning he was determined!]

He says things like, "I'm not talking about at this moment. I mean, at the other moment. You know, when I was in the shower?" This moment...really, kid?! What happened to "a while ago" or "earlier" or "right now"?!

Anyway...enjoy these shots from our Mom-Tog moment...I didn't put my good friend Carrie Small out to do his 5-year old pics...yet. ;) I'm still trying to decide if I love these enough to use them, or if I'm gonna cave and take him to "Miss Carrie" after all..we shall see...

I sure do love you, kid...to the moon & back...to pieces...even more than that!

And God Bless All My Friends

Is there anything in this world more precious than a child's simple faith? We should all be so lucky as to hang on to that for as long as we live.

We have a bedtime routine at our house. It involves bathtime, medications, snuggling, reading, and...bedtime prayers. You know the one... "Now I lay me down to sleep..." When that's over with, we need to "God Bless" everyone. Which goes something like this (I start, then Levi, then me, then Levi, and on and on and on):

Okay, and, God Bless Daddy.
God Bless Mamma.
God Bless Levi.
God Bless Sissy.
God Bless Granddaddy.
God Bless Gate Ganny. (Great Granny)
God Bless MeMaw.
God Bless Cotton. (the Donkey, not the plant)
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton.
God Bless Papa.
God Bless GiGi.
God Bless PePaw.
God Bless MaMaw.
God Bless PaPaw.
God Bless Aunt Nette & Michael.
And God Bless Cotton.
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton.
God Bless Sara-Marget. (Sara-Margaret, that is)
God Bless Bailey.
God Bless Mannie & Dillon. (Mattie, that is)
God Bless Rylie.
And God Bless Cotton.
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton. Now, God Bless Miss Kellie and your other teachers.
God Bless Bittney. (Brittany, that is)
And who else, Levi?
And God Bless All My Friends.

Now, if only the rest of us in the world would take the time to do that every day!!