Life Lessons

Did you ever walk through a parking lot, store, or restaurant with your toddler/preschooler without holding their hand?

I have. In fact, he has the scars on his forehead to prove it.



Did your toddler/preschooler ever twist out of your grasp while walking through a parking lot, store, or restaurant?

Mine has.

Monday, December 5, 2011, heaven gained an angel, a beautiful, bright eyed little boy, named Cullen Parker. Did his mom just not hold his hand? Did he twist out of her grasp? I don't know. And, neither do the hundreds of people who are speculating about what terrible parents the Parkers are because they weren't holding onto their kid.

Before you judge someone else, look in the mirror. Did you ever do it when your kids were little? Do you do it even now, if you have small kids?

And, please, if you learn nothing else from the Parkers' loss, please learn this:

The most wonderful blessing you will ever have in your life is NOT your job, your bank account, your home or your car. It is your children (no matter how you get them).

Don't be afraid to hold your child's hand. Always. Forever. No matter how big or how old they get.

Tell your children that you love them. Always. Forever. No matter how big or how old they get. Do it. EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Tomorrow is not a guarantee for any of us. Will you regret tomorrow that you didn't hug your kid today?

And, finally, to the Parker family, should any of you read this, please accept the sincere condolences of my family. Cullen was a beautiful child. We have been praying daily for the peace and comfort of our Lord to be with you all. I cannot begin to imagine what your family must be feeling, but I do know that the Lord's angels are taking care of Cullen now.

~Anna

To Trick, To Treat, or To Not

Halloween is coming. Costumes should be bought. But, what if you don't know how you feel about trick-or-treating. And what if you don't know what's an appropriate costume for your child? Levi isn't allowed to watch "Superhero" cartoons, so, how much sense would it make to put him in a Captain America costume - when he doesn't even know who Captain America is? And, his bedtime is 8-8:30, and Halloween is on a school night, so late bedtime isn't really an option. The last two years, our "trick-or-treating" consisted of visiting a couple of family members to say hi (and of course, get a small treat).

His first Halloween, he was a horse:

(A very cute one!) Cost of costume? Unknown - Great Granny Wilma bought it for him.

Last year, he was the cutest little cowboy sheriff there ever was:

See, I told ya! cutest.ever. Cost of costume? $WeDon'tWannaTalkAboutIt

This year...I just really, really do not know. I've thought about Superman. Only, because Levi loves it when we say:

"Dundunnanna! SuperLevi!"

But, even still, he wouldn't get it, because he doesn't watch Superman.

Then, I thought about Captain America, because his Daddy loved Captain America as a boy. But, really, Levi doesn't have a clue who Captain America is.

Then, I thought about Optimus Prime, because Levi did watch Transformers with us while he was falling asleep over the weekend. But, again, he doesn't "get" it. He wouldn't know, "I'm dressed up like Optimus Prime, the leader of the good Transformers."

Any of those options would cost in the $25 range. Not completely unreasonable, but he'll only wear it once. And then I'll put it away in the "tote" because I'm too dumb sentimental to get rid of it.

Ahhhhhhh! Nothing should be this difficult! And that's a big part of why I'm struggling so with it this year, I think. This really, really, should not be this difficult. And if it is this difficult, then we shouldn't be doing it at all. But, then, what if we decide to do a Trunk-Or-Treat at church or something, he'll need a costume. And if I wait until we decide if we're going to do that, there won't be any good costumes left. And, how do I know if it is a good costume? Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Surgery, Recovery, Drama & Change - An Update

September 7
We took Levi to NC Children's Hospital at UNC for his surgery. This included: ear tube replacement, repeat adenoidectomy, tonsilectomy, and sinus surgery. The surgery went well, despite taking 1.5 hours longer than anticipated. There was a lot of bleeding from his nose after the surgery, and that first night was rough. He spent it in a short-stay observation unit. The amount of anesthesia he had been under meant most of his normal bodily functions were not functioning. And, as anyone who has ever had any type of surgery knows, you must drink and potty before you're released. Levi refused to drink, and was physically unable to potty - to the point that a good portion of his pain was coming from his bladder. After repeated attempts to get him to potty on his own, he had to be catheterized. The next morning, we finally convinced him to eat some ice cream - which oddly enough, counts as "drinking" - and then, finally, we had a wet diaper. I don't think I've ever been so excited over a wet diaper before!

Before

After

Finally Awake

September 8-17
The worst 10 days of my life. Literally. Levi alternated between short, fitful naps and hysterical crying. His routine was severely disrupted. Husband was banished to sleep in Lauren's bedroom because Levi would only sleep if he could sleep with me. He ran a low-grade fever, refused his meds, and was generally intolerable of anything I wanted or needed him to do.

September 18
Levi returned to "normal" - as normal as you can get with a 2-year old who has been through what he'd been through the last 2 weeks. He was eating normally, and playing normally, and crying considerably less. We were able to visit grandparents and play outside.

September 19
Levi returned to school. He was excited to be there. He didn't even cry after being home with me for practically 2 weeks. And, then, came the drama. Mema (that's my Mamma) picked Levi up from school, where he was outside sitting on the bench with the afternoon "teacher." She got him home, took his shoes off and changed his diaper - and found FORTY-THREE (43) bug bites on his feet, ankles, legs, groin, belly, arms, and hands, and a rash spreading down his legs and up his chest/neck. She called me. I left work. I get home, and look at the bites - mosquitoes? fireants? some other unknown insect? - and my stepdad points out that his left ankle looks really swollen. Another bite, maybe? Just one that hit the joint? So, I get his allergy medicine. Which he proceeds to puke back on me. When we put him in the tub to clean him off, he refuses to put the left foot down. Then he won't let me touch it. I still think it may just be one of the bites just got him in the right place. But, then, I put him down in the den floor to lock the front door. The toes of his left foot hit the floor, he collapses, and screams out in pain. I flipped out. I called husband who reassured me that I was over-reacting. Then, I called our pediatrician's after-hours number. I spoke with a nurse, who listened carefully to my descriptions of the bites, the rash, the ankle, the screaming, everything. She paged the pediatrician on call for our practice who called back with instructions to take him the ER. So, as soon as husband got home, we headed to the ER. By that time, his bug bites had festered and were easily identified as fire ant bites. With so many of them, and the rash spreading, the ER doctor put Levi on prednisone and an antibiotic. And, they x-ray his ankle, just to be sure there isn't a fracture. The ER doctor comes back in, says he has buckle fracture to his left fibula - which is the small bone in the side of the lower leg), near the ankle joint. He gets a temporary cast, until we see the orthopedic, who gives him a lime green hard cast.

Temp Cast

After Getting Hard Cast

And, then, comes change. We battled with the decision, because we realize that both the bites and the broken bone are simple accidents that could have happened anywhere, but after advice from friends, family, and our doctors, we've moved Levi into care at another facility.

A Place and A Space - Nook GiveAway

You might already know that I'm a contemporary christian music junkie. Or, you might not. If not, heads up, I'm a contemporary christian music junkie. The radio in my car STAYS on 107.3 unless I hit the Raleigh area, and then I switch over to HisRadio. And, if I'm not in an area that I can pick up either, I'm tuned into the AWESOME HisRadio app on my Android device.

That being said, I'm kind of digging this song, "Alive," by Nate Fowler. Today, on facebook, Nate posted a blog about his wife's blog - a place and a space - and a give-away that she's doing. I have to admit that I haven't used the Nook - I have the Kindle app for my Droid, and I am soooo addicted. But, a real, true to life, actual eReader? That's my dream. So, I'm entering the contest to win the Nook she's giving away. And, so shoud you! (And then you should go enjoy that song by her husband!) ;)

Have a good one.

So *That's* What it Feels Like?

Let me be clear, I am NOT making light of strokes. Stroke is a very serious thing and leaves lasting effects on those who experience them, as well as on their loved ones.

And, I think I must now know what it feels like when you're about to have a stroke.

About 6 years ago, during a trip to the mountains, husband bought me a beautiful 3.5 ct. emerald-cut garnet right-hand ring set in 24K gold. The setting alone was over $300, which is probably not alot of money to you. But, to me, it's a truck payment. Or almost 3 summer-time light bills. And that doesn't include the cost of the stone.

This morning, I've been:

In every room in my house.
On my deck.
In my yard.
In my car - twice.
In Levi's daycare parking lot & building.
In my office parking lot and both floors of the building.

Around 9:40, I sat back down at my desk for the 300th time (that's probably a slight exaggeration). As I began working on the tasks on my desk, I glanced down. My ring setting was EMPTY. Immediately, panic set in. I emailed our IRA, asked her to send an all-building e-mail with a description of the stone.

Then, I started back-tracking. Nose down, watching the floor, trying to think of every turn I had made in this maze of an office building today. The very most recent place I had been was a colleague's office. As I turned the corner to walk into her office. THERE IT WAS. Laying on the floor. No way anyone would have spotted it, had they not been looking for it. The vacuum would probably have eaten it tonight when the janitorial crew came through. I very nearly collapsed in my colleague's office. SCARY, SCARY, SCARY. My heart is still racing. I could never have replaced that stone. Not financially, or sentimentally.

And, here's my ring. And stone. In a zippy. Until I can take them to a jeweler.

Husband, despite the fact that I probably never tell you, I love you. And I appreciate what you do for me and our family.

Levi's First Train Ride!

On Sunday, we took Levi to New Hope Valley Railway in Bonsal, NC. It's no secret that my boy is a huge train fanatic. Just take a look around our living room. Or the floor board of my car. Or his bedroom. Or the apps on my Droid.

So, NHVRY is a great little all-volunteer led living museum. They offer train rides one Sunday per month in Spring, Summer & Fall (for a nominal fee of $10/adult, $7/child). I recommend going in Spring, or waiting til Fall. August, 100 degrees, and 9658.3% humidity are NOT ideal conditions for sitting in an "Open Air Coach," no matter how beautiful the scenery. Though, I have to admit that dealing with the heat was way beyond worth it just to see this look:

Or this one:

We had a nice little family day, with Jeremy, Lauren, Levi, PePaw and I. Totally going to do it again when the weather cools off.

I plan to edit some more of our photos from the train ride, using my new friend Picnik, and will post those later.

And God Bless All My Friends

Is there anything in this world more precious than a child's simple faith? We should all be so lucky as to hang on to that for as long as we live.

We have a bedtime routine at our house. It involves bathtime, medications, snuggling, reading, and...bedtime prayers. You know the one... "Now I lay me down to sleep..." When that's over with, we need to "God Bless" everyone. Which goes something like this (I start, then Levi, then me, then Levi, and on and on and on):

Okay, and, God Bless Daddy.
God Bless Mamma.
God Bless Levi.
God Bless Sissy.
God Bless Granddaddy.
God Bless Gate Ganny. (Great Granny)
God Bless MeMaw.
God Bless Cotton. (the Donkey, not the plant)
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton.
God Bless Papa.
God Bless GiGi.
God Bless PePaw.
God Bless MaMaw.
God Bless PaPaw.
God Bless Aunt Nette & Michael.
And God Bless Cotton.
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton.
God Bless Sara-Marget. (Sara-Margaret, that is)
God Bless Bailey.
God Bless Mannie & Dillon. (Mattie, that is)
God Bless Rylie.
And God Bless Cotton.
Yes, Levi, God Bless Cotton. Now, God Bless Miss Kellie and your other teachers.
God Bless Bittney. (Brittany, that is)
And who else, Levi?
And God Bless All My Friends.

Now, if only the rest of us in the world would take the time to do that every day!!

Living the Life of Rylie

So, last Monday, I came home from work and there was this teeny little kitty in our yard. Being the softie that I am when animals are concerned, I got it a little bowl of food and milk. I noticed something wrong with its little face, like it might have been caught in something and got ripped.
The next night, it was still here, but had decided to venture onto our back deck. So I did the humane thing and moved its food to the deck. And that's when it let me pet it. I told husband, "He let me pet him!"
Husband went out to try and pick it up - and the kitty let him! He brought him inside to get a better look at its injury. It was BAD. So, I took him to the vet.
Two days later, and against my better judgement, meet Rylie J. Hall.

CT Results

Levi had a 2nd CT of his sinuses today. Even after a 21-day cycle of antibiotics, his sinuses are blocked. So, sinus surgery is in the future. As is a tonsilectomy, repeat adenoidectomy (apparently they can grow back), and new ear tubes. Dr. Rose thinks Levi will feel much better after having this done. We appreciate that everyone keeps us in their prayers.

Tomorrow is Levi's Procedure at Duke

Tomorrow is the day that my peanuts butters goes to Duke Children's Hospital for his Upper Endoscopy with Biopsy.

We will leave home around 6 am. Check in at Duke Children's Hospital by 8 am and begin the pre-op procedures. Then, his actual procedure will take place.

WARNING: READING ANY FURTHER MAY RESULT IN BEING GROSSED OUT

The doctor will be running a tube with a light/camera/pinchy-thing on it through his esophagus and stomach to the top of the small intestine. There, they will take tissue biopsies to look for ciliac disease (the inability to process wheat products). On the way out, they will stop off in the stomach to take tissue biopsies there to determine if ulcers, infection and/or gastritis (inflammation) exist, as well as any other disease processes. Finally, they will stop in the esophagus and take tissue biopsies to look for infection and disease process as well as looking for: inflammation (a sign that his gastric problem is, in fact, reflux - what he's been treated for since May 2009); increased eosinophils (a sign that the problem is actually Eosinophilic Esophagitis aka "EE", which is what 4 of our 5 doctors highly suspect with the 5th accepting it as a possibility).

Levi always has a hard time "waking up" after anesthesia. We're hoping he's grown out of that (it's been 9 months since he was last anesthetized) but just in case, will you say an extra little prayer for my baby boy that it'll be easier than the other times? Especially since he's going to have to go through it again on Tuesday of this coming week for his CT at UNC.

The plan is that we'll speak with the doctor who will tell us what he saw while doing the procedure, but that we will not have a definitive answer on the result of the biopsies for about a week.

I appreciate that any of you reading actually care. It means a lot.

Take care.

Anna

Just be thankful...

DISCLAIMER: In no way, shape or form do I intend to minimize the very harsh reality of children with terminal illnesses.

My baby boy has chronic respiratory and sinus illness. Since he was 5 weeks old, he's had a nebulizer machine at home to administer his asthma medications. Since he was 3 months old, he's taken the highest-possible-for-his-age/weight-dose of Prevacid to treat the symptoms of reflux. He's had 4-6 courses of oral steroids each year. He is almost 29 months old.

His current list of medications includes:
Pulmicort Respules 0.5mg nebulized, twice per day ($35)
Albuterol 2.5mg nebulized, every 4-6 hours as needed for coughing and wheezing ($10)
Prevacid 15mg tablet, twice per day ($60)
Zyrtec 2.5mg, once per day at bedtime ($10)
Flonase Nasal Spray, once per nostril per day at bedtime ($10)
Prednisone 15mg, twice per day ($10)
Omnicef 250mg, once per day ($35/10 days)
Multivitamin + Omegas ($20)

At 29 months old.

I blogged a week or so ago about his specialists appointments at Duke. He also sees an ENT at Chapel Hill. He had his first set of ear tubes at just shy of 7 months old. His second set at 18 months, and his adenoids removed also at that time.

Two weeks ago today, Levi was admitted to the hospital for an asthma flare. While there, and while opportunity presented itself, our Pediatrician ordered a sinus CT to see if there was indication that blockages could be to blame for the always running nose. All of his sinus cavities were blocked. She asked us to follow-up with the ENT he sees at UNC about this. Yesterday was that day.

Now, let me just preface by saying, I feel so very blessed that Levi is not sick with a terminal illness. And my complaints about my child's illnesses are in no way meant to detract from the realities of those with children with terminal illness. I know that, even at his worst, we still have it pretty good.

But, combine the sleepless nights, side effects of all the different medications, loss from missing work due to doctor's appointments and illnesses, loss of money spent for child care he can't attend due to doctor's appointments and illnesses, and loss of money spent on medications that treat ONLY his SYMPTOMS and not the root cause of the chronic illnesses, and you have a pretty exhausted mom. With very little patience for doctors making 6 figures who walk into an exam room, listen to my chief complaint about my child, look me in the eye and say, "Be thankful it's not terminal."

You think I'm NOT thankful? I'm absolutely thankful. But I'm sick of helping pay your six-figure salary with the measley pay I get after I pay bundles for health insurance and child care, so you can blow me off by saying, "he just gets more colds that are more severe that the average child." NO, REALLY?!? That's why we're here. So you can tell us WHY. AND FIX IT. That's your JOB. That's why you make so much more money than I do.

Let me end by saying that if you're reading this blog post and you ARE the parent of a terminal child, my heart goes out to you. I cry for children like yours. And I pray earnestly for them and their families.

But, my heart also goes out to other parents of chronic children, while your children's illnesses may not be terminal, I know, first-hand, how frustrating they can be.

I'll go shut up now, and just be thankful.

Good-Gosh-A-Mighty Mamma!

The things kids say. smh

Levi was an early talker, with many words before he was a year old, 3-4 word sentences by 18-20 months, and full-blown conversations on his "cell phone" and with "Scout" at 24-28 months.

We've already shared his anecdote, "Lord-A-Mercy" in an earlier blog post. Well, a new one is "Good-Gosh-A-Mighty Mamma." I'm sorry, what? Yea...like, good gosh a mighty Mamma, I'm hungry. Don't ask me where he picked that one up, but at least his pick-ups have been clean...so far.

Well, except for the "s" word. Noooo, that that "s" word. But, the s-h-u-t-u-p one. I thought maybe I'd misunderstood when my darling little angel child said, "Shutup Mamma." Excuse me, what was that? "SHUTUP MAMMA." (followed by a silly little giggle) Ok, A. We don't use that word in our house (shush or be quiet are our words). B. EXCUSE ME?!? Did you REALLY just tell your own mother, the one who carried you in her belly for 39 weeks, and was in labor for 4 days, and was cut from hip to hip just to get you here, to shut up? Surely you didn't. So, yea. We had a nice little discussion about how that word is an ugly word and we don't use it in our family. He tried to pull it once more, this time, aimed at his Thomas the Train bathroom toys while playing in the pool. That was nearly a week ago. We haven't heard it since. Fingers are crossed that we don't hear it again.

And, the cutest new thing? Each night when I'm putting Levi to bed, we have a routine. Bathtime. YumYums & Chewies (medicine). Nose spray (allergies). Fish mask (breathing treatment). Love Daddy night-night. Crawl into bed. Mamma reads a 'tory'. We say bed-time prayers. We give kisses and noses. I rub his back for just a minute. I leave the room. Well, last night, I guess I was dragging a bit and didn't get to the back rub in time, so I get this: "Mamma, you pet me!" Pet. Well, I guess we've referred to he and Bailey as brothers for so long, Levi's starting to think that he's a dog. Who needs to be pet. Do we win the Parents of the Year award for that one?

Oh, and one more thing...

To my Daddy, Granddaddy, Father-in-law, Stepdad, and Husband, I wish you all a very Happy Father's Day! Here's a picture of me with my Daddy and my Husband. I love you guys so much!

Report from Duke Pediatric Specialists

Our most recent journey to finding the root cause of Levi's frequent respiratory illnesses led us to Duke Pediatric Consultative Services. In April we met with the Allergy/Immunology Specialist where Levi was skin tested for allergies and had some bloodwork done. In May we met with the Gastroenterology Specialist to discuss Levi's diagnosed "reflux" and how it's management affects his asthma symptoms. And, today, we met with the Pulmonology and Sleep Specialist to discuss his asthma care plan, next steps, and sleep disturbances.

Allergy/Immunology: Skin test was negative for all triggers. And after the test, specialist tells me that, while the test was negative, this does not mean that he does not have allergies because many children will not show a proper allergic reaction during a skin test until they are at least 36 months of age. The next step was bloodwork. The results are really inconclusive, but did show decreased levels of Ig-M (Immunoglobulin Type M - which aid in the creation of T-Cell antibodies), good immunological responses to all diseases against which he's been vaccinated, and a very elevated white blood cell count. The doctor is, at this time, not concerned with any of the results and we will follow up in August to see if things have improved.

GI: There is some concern that we have been treating Levi for diagnosed "reflux" since he was 3 months old when his symptoms sound more like Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EE for short). While the treatement for GERD (reflux) that Levi has been on is a part of the treatment plan if he does, in fact, have EE, there will be an added medication to help reduce the swelling and inflammation associated with EE (which may be exacerbating his asthma symptoms when he gets a cold). In order to test for EE, Levi will need to have an Endoscopy. GI specialist will defer to Pulmnology before scheduling endoscopy because Pulmonology may want to do a Bronchoscopy and because Levi will need to be "asleep" for both procedures, it's best to do them at the same time.

Pulmonology: No bronchoscopy at this point so GI Specialist will proceed with scheduling endoscopy. Despite testing negative during the skin test for allergies in April, his diagnosis is Asthma/Allergies from the pulmonologist after speaking with the allergy & immunology specialist we saw there. Will defer to GI to schedule and perform the endoscopy, determine diagnosis of EE, and start treatment if diagnosed. Will follow-up in September to allow for diagnosis and at least 30 days of treatment of EE (if diagnosed) to determine if there has been a significant improvement in asthma symptoms. Anticipate scheduling a sleep study in October to test for Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA). If diagnosed, will recommend removal of tonsils, and follow-up to see if there is improvement. Assured us that while he's not making any changes to treatment plan now, he has "a few tricks up his sleeve" but wants to make sure all 3 of our specialists are in agreement on the plan moving forward and can't do that without the results of the testing we anticipate taking place in July.

Basically, we want to be sure that we are treating the ROOT CAUSE of Levi's frequent infections and not simply the symptoms. His frequency and depth of asthma flare-ups are more than are to be expected from a child his age, with his history, on the treatment plan in place right now.

Have I mentioned that I LOVE THIS LITTLE BOY?!?

The New Classroom and Adjusting

So...when there's a change in your child's life, how long is "normal" for adjusting to it? Levi was moved up the first of May. Since moving, he has cried. Every.single.morning. when I drop him off. What is wrong with my kid? For months upon months, he hadn't cried at drop off unless he was sick. He's not running a fever and doesn't have any abnormal complaints, so sick can't be the problem.

Is it normal for it to take a month or more to adjust? Is it just because the first week, he missed 3 days, then the 3rd week he missed 3 days (he was sick that time), and now, going into the first week of the new month, he had a 3-day weekend that was extended by one day on account of a doctor's appointment, making it a whole 4-day weekend? Sure, maybe that's all it is, and once we can settle into an actual "routine," he'll settle down. Right?

Lord-A-Mercy!

So, yeah, where have I been? Anyway, here's a little update on what's happening around my little mess these days...

Levi has graduated to his Thomas the Tank Engine toddler bed. What a nightmare that was! For...forever...I have rocked him to sleep, nearly every night of his short little life, before putting him in his bed (crib). Sooo, I *should* still do that. Right?!?  The toddler bed shouldn't make a difference. And the transition will be easier if we stick to the same routine, right?!?  WRONG! After a solid week of getting less than 2 hours of something-sort-of-like-sleep, I decided that maybe the problem is, I rocked him to sleep.

So, now, we don't rock anymore. And I miss it. But, the change has made all the difference in the world. There are the nights that he sneaks out of bed 3 -or 12- times before he falls asleep, but we can handle that. One night, husband and I went to bed early (his day shifts mean a 4:30am alarm clock!) and we were watching Levi's antics on the baby monitor (best money we spent on baby gear was the mobi cam with night vision!) and suddenly it got VERY quiet. And there was this mound of something (blanket, webkinz cat, Levi's behind?!?) on the screen. We thought maybe he'd given up, passed out. But the mound was a little too still. So, after 3-4 minutes of debating on the mound's identity, husband decided to investigate. He opens our bedroom door, Levi tears back down the hallway at lightspeed, shouting "I just lay in my bed now!" That little bugger had been standing at our bedroom door listening to us talk about him the whole stinking time!!!

Another new development is that Levi's been moved up to the 2's classroom at school. They're working on potty training with him. Yesterday afternoon, he was playing in his kiddy pool and suddenly he shouts, "Lord-a-mercy I gotta pee!" I thought husband and I would fall over!

Bailey, that's Levi's pooch, had a haircut. He looks a little silly but he sure acts like he feels better. I'll try and post a video of the two of them playing in Levi's kiddy pool this weekend.

Now, I have a hot date with a pile of laundry that's begging to be folded, so, here I go...God bless you all!

A Routine Baby...Out of his Routine

So, this week was the 2011 National Smart Start Conference. It's a time when early childhood professionals from all over the US (and even some internationals!!) converge on the Sheraton at Four Seasons to sit in on workshops covering topics on early childhood education quality, stress management, board operations, administration of Smart Start programs, and child development, among others. The last physical conference was 2009 (in 2010, due to budget constraints, the conference was held as a series of webinars, and, IMHO, it was much less effective). At the time of the 2009 conference, Levi was *almost* 3 months old. I was nursing, and the conference was a 4-day event for me, so he and my husband came along. Then, it wasn't that bad. He would sleep alot. And was content to ride around in his stroller. At that age, routine wasn't all that "necessary."

Well, this year, all plans were in place for Levi to stay home with Daddy while Mamma when to Conference. Mamma would get a much needed break, and Daddy & Levi would get some MUCH-needed bonding time. And then Duke Children's Consultative Services ruined it. The appointment we'd been waiting MONTHS to get with a GI specialist, was scheduled for May 3. The first day of conference. Half-way between conference and home. Our options were very limited. So, we packed up our family and made arrangements for the care of our 3 pooches, 1 donkey, 2 turkeys and I-lost-count-of-how-many chickens. And off we went.

Well, over the last 2 years, Levi has grown very accustomed to his routine. Wake up at 6:15. Breakfast by 8:30. Lunch by 11:30. Nap by 12:00. Snack at 2:30. Supper by 5:45. Bath by 7:30. Bed by 8:00. Do it all over again.

Hotel life, eating out 3 meals, and being away from school (read: daycare) and his friends was NOT what Levi had in mind. Napping was a joke. Sleeping was even funnier. And eating?! Please. Apple Sauce, Cheerios and Cheese. Nothing else would do.

We were terrible at taking pictures while we were gone. Mostly because we didn't really do anything. But, here's one of the few times he actually slept some. :)

And this is when we got him to eat something besides cheerios, applesauce and cheese. Though it is cheese pizza...

And, THIS is how he spent the majority of his time. Notice the giant bag of cheerios beside of him. smh

Happy (Belated) Easter!

I'm behind. Hopefully you'll all forgive me. Easter weekend was very busy for us. And, I'm just getting around to posting my baby boy's A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E Easter photos. The photos were taken by CSM Photography of Erwin. Connie Sue did a fabulous job. We bought the copyright release & CD, so I'm using these images legally! :)

Enjoy!


My little GQ man

This is the politician ad pose (though I pray he doesn't become one of those!)

And these 3 are the wagon & bunny pictures

Hey there Buddy the Rabbit!

This picture was featured on our Easter cards. Too. Precious.

And this picture is what my baby looks like when sheer joy shines on his face.

Just another headshot.



And, last...just because I think he looks great in black & white:

So, for Lindsey & my other readers...that's my beautiful baby's Easter pictures.

I hope all of you enjoyed celebrating the resurrection of our Lord this past weekend. Please don't ever forget that Easter isn't about hiding eggs and a giant bunny. He is Risen!

We Needed a Reminder

Oftentimes, our lives...our "little messes," if you will...become so overwhelming that we forget to stop and be thankful for what we have. A roof over our heads. Food in our refrigerators. Family and friends who love us.

The tornadoes that ravaged parts of our state on Saturday were a true, genuine reminder for me of several things.

1. How blessed I truly am with all the things I do have in my life. I may not have a big house or a fancy car or a big boat. But, right about now, I have a LOT more than a LOT of people who've lost their belongings, their cars, their homes, and even more importantly, their loved ones to those storms.

2. That I need to get my priorities straight. God and family come first. Period. Everything else is gravy.

3. A little bit of grace goes a very long way.

4. The Lord is capable of many things, not the least of which he demonstrated to us on Saturday. To stand in a family member's yard and look in all directions and see nothing but devastation, and be able to look at that family member swinging on his front porch swing. It showed me how truly awesome our God is! Though there were lives lost, and others injured; compared to the number of homes and businesses that were damaged and destroyed, the ratio is so small it's unbelievable.

5. Be kind to one another.

6. Pick up a rake and help your neighbor.

7. And by all means, don't insult victims of disaster by using them for your entertainment. If you're going to drive by at 3mph videoing them work to clean up what's left of their lives, pull over, get out, and grab a chainsaw. Or a limb. Or a log. Or a trash bag. I can't imagine wanting to see the things I've seen over the last few days.

How My Blog Got Its Name

My Little Mess. Though many of blogs have been and will continue to be about my son, Levi, the blog name really just means, "My Life," which, in reality, revolves around Levi. But, as I considered Lindsey's challenge to start a blog, I wondered, what would I call it? (She has a nifty little blog over HERE and even does give-a-ways from time to time, so check her out!) Then I remembered this song that I'd heard on the way to work one morning. The artist is Francesca Battistelli, and she has an amazing tone to her voice. But, the lyrics of the song really, REALLY, spoke to me. And made me remember just how blessed I have been in this world. You should take a peek. This is the official youtube video. Enjoy.

Special Story: Smart Start Really Matters!

So, the assignment from my big boss at work was: provide a special story about how the work you do at the Partnership affects the children of Cumberland County. I struggled with this. I kept thinking, "I'm paperwork. I'm behind the scenes." And, then it dawned on me, I couldn't tie a specific work event to having affected the children of Cumberland County, BUT, I could tie a specific LIFE event to the work I do for the children of Cumberland County. I was telling husband about the special story, and my boss' response to the special story, and he suggested that I blog it. And, then, share it. For me, saving Smart Start is NOT about saving my job. It's about saving kids. Like mine. Like his best friend, Tyler. Like his other classmates. Like the classmates they'll have when they start school. High Quality Child Care matters! It makes a difference. If funding Smart Start is what it takes to make it happen, then we need to tell our legislators to HOLD THE LINE ON SMART START!

I learned first-hand the importance of those silly little stars on a child care provider’s license. My son’s health, and convenience to location drove me to place him – approximately 8 months old at the time – in a 1-star Family Child Care Home. His UNC Pulmonologist requested that we remove him from a center-based child care setting for the sake of his health. From our home, there are 2 child care providers within a reasonable driving distance. One was the center-based child care setting where he was enrolled, and the other is 1-star Family Child Care Home where we moved him to. Location to my home was important because my schedule created the need for others than myself to pick him up from daycare on a regular basis. He had a really hard time adjusting to the move. There were lots of little “things” during the 9 months he was there should have SCREAMED to me to move him, but I felt trapped, like I had no choice – the doctors say he needs the smaller environment; there’s no one else nearby; the transition was so hard on him, I don’t want to do that again. During those 9 months, he learned to watch a lot of TV. And he learned to snatch toys and run down the hall, screaming “No No No.” He clung to his sippy cup like it was his lifeline. I chalked it up to his developmental stage. And then, the BIG thing that shouted, screamed, and slapped me into reality happened. She physically disciplined my child, and had the nerve to tell me about it. She just couldn’t keep watching a child who wouldn’t just sit in the floor and play with the toys (none of which were developmentally appropriate for a child his age). And, I realized, too late, that those behaviors weren’t his developmental stage, they were learned behaviors; that he was learning from the two 3-year olds he was in daycare with. He never went back there. The following week, I enrolled him in a 4-star center. One that’s not quite so convenient to our home location. And, because of his compromised immune system, one that doesn’t keep him quite so healthy. But, within 3 weeks of being there, he was feeding himself every meal. There were no more sippy cups, unless we were traveling. He no longer snatched toys. He was calmer and more well-behaved. That experience with my own child made me realize just how important the work we do here at the Partnership truly is to improving and promoting high quality child care. Every child should have the opportunity to learn in a high-quality setting. When you’ve never experienced it, you don’t see the difference. Every quality enhancement grant agreement; every subsidy MOA; the DSP contracts with DSS and Easter Seals that I process, those are my means to effect change in the lives of children in Cumberland County.

First T-Ball Practice

Monday night was Levi's first T-Ball practice. Let me just say, a t-ball field is no place for a 2-year old. Hard.Lesson.Learned. But, anyway, it was interesting. And chaotic. And funny. There are about 10 kids or so on his team. He and 2 others are the only 2-year olds. The other kids are 3 and 4. And "get it" alot better than Levi, Will & Danielle do at 2. But, he loves to hit the ball...and to "run, run, run." The biggest problem? The playground is in site of the T-Ball field. Which means when he "run, run, runs," you had better be right there with him, or he's going to run, run, run to "go play at park."

I learned three very valuable lessons last night:
(1) Don't wear flops to your 2-year old's T-Ball practice/game. {See they're no longer on my feet?}

PS - That's not the ball he hit, its the extra ball. He really can hit it farther than that! LOL

(2) Don't wear a dress to your 2-year old's T-Ball practice/game. {See me holding it up as I run?!?}

(3) Be prepared to get your exercise! {No photo here, the first two are scary enough!}

Tell Mamma I'm Sorry!

So, it's no secret to those who know us that my baby boy is a Mamma's boy (aren't all boys, "Mamma's boy"??). He's just over 2 years old (almost a whopping 26 months!), and I still rock him to sleep. Most nights that means he sleeps sounder which means I sleep sounder. What's the problem? Well, the problem is, it's Mamma that rocks him to sleep. So, if Mamma isn't able to rock him to sleep, we end up with a new national emergency. Kind of like this past Monday night. I was deathly ill on Monday. Wasn't sure I'd survive the stomach flu that had taken hold of my body and drained every ounce of energy I had. I'm still not over it. I'm currently surviving on soup broth, crackers and dry toast. And ginger-ale. Lots and lots of ginger-ale. Not that it'll kill me. :)

Well, on Monday night, husband put Levi to bed for me. Bless their hearts. It started with Levi crawling on the couch with me saying, "Mamma rock you, pease." Next was Jeremy dragging him, kicking and screaming, to the nursery. Then came the screaming, "mamma rock youuuuuuu". THEN, as if that was heart-wrenching enough, he started screaming, "Tell Mamma I'm sorry!" "Tell Mamma I'm sorry!" For like 30 minutes. My poor husband was a trooper. He rocked him through it all.

Poor little fella thought he was being punished because his daddy was rocking him instead of Mamma.

Usually at bedtime, Levi doesn't want to give Daddy love because that means he has to go to bed. Last night, he nearly jumped out of my arms to give his Daddy a kiss good night. I guess he didn't want to be punished again?

Could've Been a Big Mess...

A little Saturday painting fun!

I Am "That Kind of Mom"

So, I overheard a coworker saying that her sister is "that kind of mom" the other day. I was curious, so I asked what she meant by it. Her story went something like that her sister played kiddie music in the car (and everywhere else) to appease her young child. I was appalled!{heavy on the sarcasm}

What is wrong with being "that kind of mom?" I'm "that kind of mom." Though, I think I have a good excuse: From an early age, we had to take long road trips with Levi to and from specialist doctor visits. Well, the only way to keep him sane (and ultimately, to keep ME sane) was VeggieTales Silly Songs on CD. His first experience with kiddie shows - we don't do much TV in our house - was a VeggieTales Ultimate Silly Song Countdown DVD. He was consumed by these silly little veggies dancing around to these even sillier (is that a word?) little songs.

And, then we invested. In a few CDs for the car, not just VeggieTales, but other kiddie songs, too. Best.Decision.Ever. Gone were the days of screaming for hours in the car. The headaches? Gone. Some days he even grabs the drums to play along:

Well, for the most part, anyway. There's always the day when he's soooo sleepy:

Or the day when he's not feeling well and so he screams no matter what we do. (No picture, I'm always too stressed to snap one). Those are the days we just have to suck it up and deal with it.

Then, there are the days when I drop him off at "school" (aka daycare) and head into the office, only to pull up in the parking lot and realize that I'm listening to some kiddie song. This morning, it was:

The Happy Day Express

Sing it with me, now:

♫We're going to the mansion♫

♫On the happy day express♫

♫The letters on the engine♫

♫are J-E-S-U-S♫

Ok, that's enough of that.

And, for Lindsey, I realize this wasn't what you wanted to see next, BUT, I figure I'll save THAT one 'til the day gets a little closer. :)

Just a little mess

So, sometimes when we're rushing and Levi's hair is unruly, I'll grab a cup of water and his comb to get it under control. I inadvertently left said comb on the kitchen table one afternoon. Levi was in the highchair having a snack while I was cooking supper. I turned around and this is the face (and 'do) that greeted me. His hands? Oh, they were busy dipping his comb in his milk and combing his hair with it. Levi, WHAT are you doing? "Fixed hair Mamma." He's such a bugger!

My First Blog

So, my friend...errr, coworker, Lindsey thought I should start blogging. Apparently she finds my life stories quite considerably more entertaining than I do. But, I figure, I'll give it a shot. The first step was to figure out a name for the blog. I think it's fitting. I hope to remember to do this regularly and bring you some entertainment as I talk about...my little mess. :-)