Breakfast

Levi l.o.v.e.s. pancakes. And waffles. AND French toast. But, don't tell him that. Because waffles are yucky. And nooooo, I can't eat French toasted.

Did you ever ask a server at Waffle House for a pancake? They look at you just a little funny. And the manager will tell you that's a dirty word.

And then you have to beg them to accommodate your 3-year old who thinks every fluffy golden sweetness on which you pour "sticky syrup" is a pancake. So, for the sake of all that's good and holy, please just call it a pancake so he'll eat breakfast like a normal human being. PLEASE.

Tonight, he runs to me [while I sweat over the hot stove cooking supper] and says, Mamma! I want pancakes! So, I make him French toast. 2 slices. He ate both & asked for more. And, it wasn't pancakes. Hehe.

The Issue...or Not

It was all over the news...social media...radio ads. It was everywhere. Fighting on both sides of the fence. Vote FOR Amendment One. Vote AGAINST Amendment One. If you don't vote FOR it, you're not as Christian as me. If you do vote FOR it, you're a hate-mongering Jesus-lover.

I was so sick of hearing about it, that by the time it came time to vote on the "issue" I was glad overjoyed that I was stuck in Chapel Hill most of the day & then completely exhausted to the point of not feeling up to the trip to the poll. So, YEP, you got it.. I'm not as Christian as you are, AND I'm a hate-mongering Jesus-lover because I did neither. ;)

I struggled, truly, over this Amendment. I'd heard the liberal agenda on it...no domestic violence protection, children losing their health benefits, blah blah blah. I'd heard the conservative agenda on it...JESUS said so! Homos are sinners and we hate them! And then I researched it for myself.

But, the truth is, neither of those are exactly right.

Children of unmarried parents both CAN and CANNOT be covered on health insurance benefit policies, based on the carrier & plan host's definition of dependents.

Domestic Violence protection is not just for married couples, already. And, it's not just for heterosexual couples, already. And, it's not just for COUPLES, period. Domestic violence protection already extends to siblings, parents, children, and a host of other "people."

The bible does say that homosexuality is not right, never in those specific words, but in several places throughout, it lends instruction that marriage is to be between a man and a woman. HOWEVER, it doesn't say that we, as Christians are supposed to HATE those who choose to live in ANY lifestyle other than the one that we choose to live.

And, our law already said that marriage was between one man & one woman. Voting FOR the amendment didn't exactly change that. Voting AGAINST the amendment wouldn't have changed that either. So...why were we fighting over it?

Anyway, I heard this song a few days ago, and there's one line especially in the song that says to me, WHAT IN THE H... WERE WE THINKING?! It says, "Nobody knows what we're for, only what we are against when we judge the wounded; what if we put down our signs, crossed over the lines, and loved like You did..."

I think, as Christians, we have a responsibility bigger than voting FOR the Amendment, we have a responsibility to love ALL people. Regardless of how we feel about their life choices. That doesn't mean that you have to approve of, condone, or even support any person in your life who makes choices that you don't agree with, whether that choice is homosexuality; alcohol or drug abuse; tattoos; clubs; gangs. Being involved of any, or all, of those things doesn't mean the person doesn't love the Lord, it just means they're lost.

There's another line in that song that says, "The world is on their way to You, but they're tripping over me." I think this is probably the most true statement EVER. There are so many people who NEED to find their way to the Lord. And so many who will start down that path, only to stop when they run into a "Christian" who is pointing fingers at them and telling them what a bad person they are or that God hates what them for what they're doing. God doesn't hate ANYONE. He hates our actions, probably daily, but he LOVES us all. And, until we, as Christians, start showing EVERYONE that love, we will never be able to repair the HELL that we're living in now.

And, with that, I'm going to step off of my soapbox and just say this little prayer...

Jesus, friend of SINNERS (just like ME), open my eyes to the world at the end of my pointing fingers. I have always been and will always be the lost cause, but You have never given up on me, You never give up on any of us, You are always right there, arms open, waiting for us to run back to You. Thank You. I love you, Jesus. And I am so thankful that I find my way back to You when I've slipped in the other direction. Amen 

I can't go in there, Mamma.

WOW. It's been over 4 months since I posted a blog. It's overdue.

This past Saturday was our 5th wedding anniversary. We spent the day moving into our new home. 980 sq. ft. to 2000-ish sq. ft. A nice upgrade. The boy is a very routine child. (I'm pretty sure I've blogged about that before.) When his routine is disrupted, all sorts of things go haywire. Well, Saturday night was the first night we spent in the new house. During the day, Levi is super-psyched about the fact that he now has a playroom that is larger than the living room of our previous house.When it's bedtime, he goes to sleep pretty easily but from there, it goes downhill. (NOTE: This is not necessarily a "new" thing, as he typically wakes 2-3 times per night, but this is way worse than it's ever been.) He's had a history of night terrors (not nightmares which are dreams, but waking in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder and the ONLY thing that soothes him is to let him settle himself down and go back to sleep). It's been more than a year since he last had a night terror, but they've returned since we moved.

Late yesterday afternoon, he walks down the hallway then tells me, "I can't go in that bathroom, Mamma." Me: "Why not?" Levi: "There's a man in there." Me: "No, honey, it's really ok. Come on, Mamma will go with you."

I go in, turn on the light, he potties, and we're done.

Later, I'm telling husband about this and he asks Levi some questions.

Husband: "Hey buddy, tell me about the man you saw."
Levi: "He was in the bathroom."
Husband: "Did you know him?"
Levi: "Ummm...I don't know."
Husband: "What did he look like?"
Levi: "He looks like my PaPaw."

Jaws drop. Tears form. I look at husband. He smiles and looks at me.

PaPaw is my father-in-law, who passed away in November.

Levi was frightened by seeing PaPaw. But we explained to Levi that PaPaw is here because he loves us very much and he wants to take care of us and make sure that we are ok.

I start talking (in my mind) to Jerry (PaPaw), asking, "Jerry, if it's you that's here, please, help Levi to adjust. Take away these night terrors and help him rest." Over and over, I say this in my mind. Tears still rolling.

8:45 pm: Levi gets his bath in the same bathroom where he earlier "saw" PaPaw. No problems.
9:10 pm: Levi gets in bed, does his breathing treatment & dozes off to sleep.
6:30 am: Levi wakes up for the first time since going to sleep around 9:15-9:20 the night before.

Thank you PaPaw. We love you and we're so glad you're still here with us even just in spirit! I just wish my soul was still as innocent as little Levi's so that I could see you again, too. But one day, I will.